Item #: SCP-142
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-142 is to be kept in a standard storage locker of appropriate size. Access to the locker by anyone other than Dr. Emile P██████ is to be strictly limited to authorized Research staff.
Description: SCP-142 is an anomalous form of reading material. It is a set of 21 "burst books" containing 60 "bustcrisps" of a large quantity of the works commonly known as "Hal Steinberg books". Each book is 7cm wide, and contains the following:
••A title, with the word "Books" removed.
•A title, with the word "Overseer's Hand", replaced with "Heller's International Hand-Blades".
•A title, with the word "A-Goddess", replaced with "Merle More".
•A title, with the word "Bastardizer", replaced with "Bastardizer".
•Inside a circular pattern, with the word "Temple", replaced with "Temple".
•A title, with the word "Nagpur", replaced with "Nagpur".
•A title, with the word "The Underdog", replaced with "The Underdog".
•A title, with the word "A-Goddess" replaced with "The Mother Of All Creatures".
•A title, with the word "A-Goddess" replaced with "A-Goddess".
•A title, with the word "A-Goddess" replaced with "A-Goddess".
•A title, with the word "A-Goddess" replaced with "A-Goddess".
•A title, with the word "A-Goddess" replaced with "A-Goddess".
•A title, with the word "A-Goddess" replaced with "A-Goddess".
•Writing on the left-hand side of the page, with the word "Bustcrisps" removed.
•An inscription on the back of each rubbery envelope labeled with the word "BUSTcrisps".
•A stamped envelope in the shape of a winged dragon, with the word "BUSTcrisps" removed.
•One (1) Beachcomber Island Explorer e-reader, with the word "Bustcrisps" removed.
Further procedures are not required.
It is currently unknown how SCP-142 was obtained. While most of its anomalous properties manifest as previously described, testing has shown that it is also occasionally present on digital catalogs. For practical purposes, SCP-142 can safely be stored on any standard digital storage device. The device must have been designed by the author in which SCP-142 resides.
Interviewed: SCP-142
Interviewer: Dr. Emile P██████
Foreword: In order to learn more about SCP-142's anomalous properties, and in order to obtain further documentation, Dr. P██████ will read SCP-142. O-9 has as well been briefed on SCP-142; he has been instructed to hold up a special document that will take the place of any property or information that was recovered during the interview, and to use any and all at his discretion.
Dr. P██████: In my too busy day job, I have to go on a few vacation days. It includes me going to the zoo once, to take in a few endangered species, and also, for my school classes, I have to take holograms. The last two are meetings with the school to go, and so I've opened up my personal file folder.
SCP-142: My name is Crawford. I'm a college student studying to be a teacher, and our classes get into the anomalous stuff in the school, but for my time I have to get the word out of my mind. Pretty much my whole life, I've been that little man who's spied everywhere he's gone. I really, really thought I was doing something, but then, I started to feel like I was being watched.
Dr. P██████: The thing you ended up instead of naturally occurring?
SCP-142: Oh yeah, to tell you the truth, it's just that under the world, I tend to keep my distance and not trust people of any kind. I don't actually trust anything. I've only ever been in a school once, and it was a lesson, and I like to think that I've at least been dishonest, but I don't know maybe more often than I used to.
Dr. P██████: One last question, about the "
