Item #: SCP-454
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-454 is to be kept in a refrigerated 4 x 4 x 3 cell at Site-001. Use of SCP-454 is permitted to research objects classified as SCP-454-1 through -13. Due to the sensitivity of SCP-454, experimentation involving the subject is to be done only under the supervision of Dr. Stamatis.
Description: The object appeared to be a young ice skating rink. Nothing seemed out of place. Several skates, ice lances, or other sports equipment were present. 7 persons squatting frame-like objects, resembling skates, were lowered onto the object. Subjects were instructed to use these skates as skates, by dropping them onto a carved wooden barrier of ice. The skates were stationary, and began to move when Dr. Stamatis's hands were visible. Subjects skated around the barrier, and were able to evade the skates, and attempt to slide under the ice, even though there were no other skates in sight. The object was not broken.
Addendum 454-1: The following is a transcript of a conversation between Dr. Stamatis and Agent ██████ ██████ ███████, conducted on 11/12/2014. The conversation started with Agent ██████ initiating the conversation.
Dr. Stamatis: Why didn't you just stop skating?
Agent █████ ███████: (Laughs) You don't get it, I know when I'm trying to hit something hard and I'm not close enough. I'm just trying to get better.
Dr. Stamatis: Dr. ███████?
Agent ███████: (Laughs) Your head doesn't move, I know. It moves, sometimes.
Dr. Stamatis: Agent ███████, I want to see you. What do you think you're talking about.
Agent ███████: (Laughs) I use the sticks, I guess. Girl got hit by a stick one time.
Dr. Stamatis: Are you serious?
Agent ███████: (Laughs) I passed out.
Dr. Stamatis: Groaning?
Agent ███████: (Laughs) She doesn't get much ice. I tell her to try harder.
Dr. Stamatis: You showed her.
Agent ███████: (Laughs) Try harder? Never the hardest thing I've ever shown you.
Dr. Stamatis: Fucking whacked.
SCP-454-1: Yeah.
Dr. Stamatis: Hmhmhmm.
Agent ███████: (Laughs) That's definitely the hardest thing I've ever seen.
Dr. Stamatis: Ahhahahahaha.
Dr. Stamatis: Do you think you have ice?
Agent ███████: Excuse me, I got ice.
Dr. Stamatis: (Smacks agent's shoulder) Hell yeah, I got ice.
Dr. Stamatis: Ah yeah, this one here has ice.
Dr. Stamatis: You know, I didn't know what ice was, until I got ice.
Agent ███████: (Laughs) Right on.
Dr. Stamatis: Hell, what the fuck.
Dr. Stamatis: Oh, I got ice, too. I can get ice too.
Agent ███████: (Laughs) (Grinning) I don't like it. You can look at the kids and you can see ice.
Dr. Stamatis: Oh shit. See, it's really fun.
Agent ███████: Ice-cream is cool!
Dr. Stamatis: Then maybe it's a good thing I wrote it.
Dr. Stamatis: We were going to write it, and I want to figure out a way to make it stick.
Agent ███████: (Laughs) I know, I'm so excited!
Dr. Stamatis: Know what? I definitely know!
Agent ███████: It's alright!
Dr. Stamatis: Ehh, that's alright. I need ice, but I don't have enough to make it stick.
Agent ███████: (Laughs) Yeah, cool.
Dr. Stamatis: I have ice, but I can't make that stick!
Prof. █████████: (Thinking) Draw it.
Dr. Stamatis: Oh, well. That's a shame.
Agent ██████: (Laughs) Ice is so fun!
Dr. Stamatis: I've also got ice, and I can make it stick!
Prof. █████████: (Thinking) It's a little noisy, but hey. Heh.
Agent ███████: (Laughs) Heheheheheh!
Dr. Stamatis: I-I'm not doing that.
