Item #: SCP-700
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-700 is to be contained in a standard humanoid containment cell at Site-79. During testing, no personnel may approach the reality-threatening anomaly. SCP-700 must be monitored at all times.
Description: SCP-700 is a black golf ball, roughly 8cm in diameter, approximately 3cm in length, approximately 5cm in diameter, 1.5cm in thickness. SCP-700's surface is smooth and black metal, and it is contoured to resemble the shape of a ball. However, the ball is not physically anatomically different from non-anomalous golf balls of similar size and shape.
Addendum 700.1: Researcher's Report: On █/██/2002, Agent ██████ passed through SCP-700 without comment on his way to his car, causing no circumstances of containment breach. He was recovered by a Foundation photographer at [REDACTED], and was medically examined.
Addendum 700.2: Additional Notes: A modified form of SCP-700 has been created, with higher-strength magnetic packaging. The contents of the form have been shown to work at the level of a standard golf ball.
Addendum 700.3: In March of 2019, a new form of SCP-700 was found with a prototype of the remaining metallic components in it. This design is different from the oblong ball of SCP-700, and is gratingly ugly.
Addendum 700.4: Notes From Interrogation: With the deterioration of the currently-in-use golf ball, the Foundation has decided to ditch the gold-like metal casing, and instead intend to use bullet-proof, jade-tinted packaging. The price tag for this is a lot more expensive than the standard golf ball. We'll be switching over to solid gold after the funding is finished, and it will be much more difficult to destroy.
Addendum 700.5: Transcribed excerpts from various documents recovered from SCP-700:
•Document 700-ASSS:
•Document 700-ITK:
•Document 700-EXE:
•Document 700-ITPN:
•Document 700-IFEX:
•Document 700-ITPM:
•Document 700-ITPS:
•Document 700-ITPS-DD
•Document 700-ITPS-EEA:
•This is a former internal company record. The company operates under the name "Lackluster Electronics", and is supposedly owned by ██████████ ████████████ of ██████████, Ohio. The name seems to be an an anagram of the word "Lackluster". Mr. ██████████ is blind, and the company was supposed to be closed. However, upon investigation, it was discovered that ██████████ was actually a former employee of ██████████ Electronics.
•Document 700-QBK#6:
•Document 700-QBK#6's detailed operating instructions and full instructions are included in Document 700-QBK#6.
•Date printed in document 700-ASSS:
•Date printed in document 700-EU:
•Date printed in document 700-POP:
•Date printed in document 700-GND:
•This was a letter sent to ██████████ from ███████████. It was written in the third-person omniscient narrative structure known to exist.
•In this letter, ██████████ said of the "Lackluster Electronics" company that they were no longer under investigation: "Nowadays more and more people move through town than normally do."
•He said that he had been kept out of his office prior to the end of his job by someone, who had become a constant customer of ███████'s, but that this had been t(mpul-b)y his fault: "If this was the only thing wrong with this account, I would be satisfied."
•He said that he had tried negotiating with ███████, and had managed to prove to him that he had known of the company's existence for 40 years (or longer), and had started working in the company to keep up with its growth.
•He said that he had written an item to help the company grow, but that the item had been written in error as a personal "friendship" item, and that the item was never sold or distributed.
•He said that he was not aware of another employee (who was listed as his family friend) and that his termination was due to his inability to rapidly sell it.
•Mr. ██████████ was asked to explain his belief in SCP-700. He said that he had been assigned to the location by someone with unusual knowledge of the company's transactions, and that he had known of SCP-700 for 40 years.
•The fax machine was recovered
