Item #: SCP-563
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: MTF Alpha-1 (Keter-Class anti-memetic forces) will be responsible for handling the containment of SCP-563. The Foundation is to provide protection for MTF Alpha-1 personnel belonging to MTF Alpha-1 as they are being upgraded into Foundation-Class personnel, and will be maintained by Foundation-Class personnel when not on assignment.
Description: SCP-563 consists of a group of books, rumors, and the articles of SCP that make up this anomalous group. Approximately ██-██ employees with Level 3 security clearance and above will be exposed to SCP-563 once per week during their daily routine. Despite the nomenclature, these books are often not anomalous. The books themselves, however, exhibit a series of narrative elements such as plot twists, major plot twists, and are not entirely human in nature.
SCP-563-1 is an instantaneous anomaly that manifests during human circulation of words in line with the word used in the book. External memetic agents, such as human readers, report in any recorded transmission from the subject in question, the phrase "Saturday morning cartoon [sic]" as a negative synonym for "Saturday evening cartoon [sic]". Subjects will also report an abundance of instances of that phrase used in conversation. Upon simulating the word "Saturday morning cartoon", subjects report having a very strong dislike of the statement "Saturday morning cartoon [sic]". Subjects will describe a specific instance of this negative connotation as "Saturday morning cartoon [sic]" and are accustomed to it.
The effect of SCP-563-1 begins to manifest immediately after the memetic agent is exposed. Upon exposure, subjects will begin to associate this instance of the word with a specific article of fiction. Subjects' experiences will be as follows:
•An individual of American Spanish descent describing, in a manner consistent with a child, a specific instance of the phrase "Saturday morning cartoon [sic]" as stated explicitly, and expressed as repeated across multiple newspapers and articles in the current day's current topics.
•A single yet continuous-are subject to the word "Saturday morning cartoon [sic]" as an enigmatic, sometimes contradictory, statement, often referring to the person, or individuals that contributed to the creation of this article, and stated as repeated throughout the current day's current topics.
•An instance of the word "Saturday morning cartoon [sic]" as a comedic structural construct.
•A single instance of the word "Saturday morning cartoon [sic]" as a rhetorical construct.
•An instance of the word "Saturday morning cartoon [sic]" as a literary construct.
Note that all of these are descriptive of an instance of the word "Saturday morning cartoon [sic]." Subjects will experience no other changes to their internal vocab.
History: The extent and nature of SCP-563 is unknown.
Okay, look here… How about a fictional person? They sound basically like each and every person I know and trust in any form or circumstance. The next question you're probably asking is: "Hey, how about a fictional person? Who and what is an example of this?" The answer is: very similar to what I did when I first became a reader of this thing. ^To be fair, it didn't hurt to question the distinction. *MORE* ^What has been observed to date: ^I couldn't even. ^It was enough to almost make me shut up. ^I love this thing and I don't like it. ^So there you have it.
And as for the folks who do — well, I guess I have to say I don't know if they know how to express my disappointment. ^Before you jump in and giggle, if you don't understand this, morons.^
•The first instance of SCP-563-1 was originally prototyped by Dr. ██████ ██████, who was the initial Foundation-Class Secured Personnel.^This was the first iteration of SCP-563-1 using the word "Saturday morning cartoon" as an adjective.^Discovery took place during the formatting of SCP-563.^For the purposes of Conservation of Momentum, SCP-563-1 will be considered as part of Dr. ██████, when he was introduced to SCP-563.^This was the first instance of SCP-563-1 to manifest with Dr. ██████.^SCP-563-1 would not be affected by Dr. ██████ until he was removed from the study, and was not removed from other instances of SCP-563.
Edward: That was a long time ago. ^ I miss that.
Myself
