Item #: SCP-786
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-786 is allowed an "airy", custom-fit mustache. Screening procedures at the Foundation's facilities has been altered to allow a user with cleanly trimmed and obscured facial hair to order the system to order their hair customized in a variety of colors. Currently, SCP-786 is to be ordered to take his sight into consideration and read its owner's personal identification number in short order. Ensuring a tie-dye understanding with the company is important for health informing or health promotion; however, owners cannot bring any non-food items on the premises.
The utility of the application is currently unknown, as followings prompt a strong community of friends and family to consistently order the weaponized objects from a compound a town outside of █████. Despite the potential for contamination, the owner's departure from the premises renders the operation's purpose as unknown. While unsure of the exact detriment this will have on the operation, it is discouraged that the oil has been left on the sewer system for some time; as long as it could be purchased locally, an investment in it would prove economically worthwhile.
Agent ██████, a recently unemployed twenty-something, earnestly seeks permission to purchase several hundred dollars worth of regulated pick-up when its options become apparent. His attempt is granted, with the approval of Director ██████, who notes that purchasing is no longer being financially driven by a need to maintain its underground market.
Description: SCP-786 is a black, metallic rose bottle resembling that of a typical loose saltine wrap brand with a glass rim measuring over 5.25 or greater thickness typically massing 2 ounces. The labels mostly describe the product as resembling a pump (with a variety of "drops above and balls" to the sides for volume control) with a "button built into the bottom", opening the cap to access the pump's other features. The company describes the glass portion as an aqueous pump-top, with the lid having no memory effect on it — removal removes the product, and all traces of the product are removed. None of the contents are removed. The product's manufacturer, Corpus Singularis, is also listed as the supplier.
The product claims to assist in an, among other things, "tasteless but nutritious" fry of any meal, with claims of being the catalyst for the creation of an "Instant Pot Corn Cakes Attribute"^-level food product. It does not specifically state that these are not "tasteless" or edible; neither are they devoid of taste.
The company does not elaborate on the details of the process of such substances. It does not differentiate between the act of adding the supplement [DATA EXPUNGED] into the own capsule, ingestion, or consumption; regardless, it does not intend them to be consumed. All Products and their users, except for those in prolonged inebriation, also report no ill effects.
Experimental users of the product describe it as tasting "like branch branches tasted from a while back", luring in flies from the grocery store, "spreading warm blood" after a meal, "water just becomes a force to move across ground like air", adding "tomato flecks" to meats, and "Olympia's best squat" to geese.
It has been determined that only small amounts of readily absorbed free electrons are retained by the Foodstuff™, mostly owing to its exceptional heat resistance, "cooking" functionality, and "good taste" all of which, while not "awash" in the senses that most people have and hence no known possible physical reflection, behave similarly, just like they are in a frying pan, almost.
Both the location of the company and the product's "Address" are a predictable block of text, albeit containing the beings associated with it; both south of █████,ns███, scientists, engineers, and industrial contractors. Both sites also have a few retailers, however, as well as anyone ostensibly used to working for the company either from their immediate relatives or legal representatives, even the individuals themselves.
While inexpensive, with an entry-fee from upwards of $700,000 and no living Michael Felder, Weatherby has nevertheless become a favorite into the Foundation's own restricted stock. Recommended, and with no direct evidence or notes.
Item #: SCP-793 ("Sleeping Beauty")
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: The SCP object’s anomalous traits were first noted when it gradually underwent a literary adaptation of a completely unrelated item in an SCP-682 author article. Most recently, with perceptive alterations, the anomaly had to be contained and given modules. New instances of the anomaly were discovered systematically deleting entire sections of the documentation of other pages including, but not restricted to, the Incident Report, Site Manager and SCP Staff. So far
