Item #: SCP-080
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-080 is to be stored in a standard safe in Site-██. Testing of SCP-080 is prohibited without Level 4 authorization. All experiments involving SCP-080, testing and recovery are to include Level 4 personnel.
Description: SCP-080 is an SCP-08082 "Black Floyd" moment scale, and the teeth of SCP-08082 are evenly curved.
SCP-08082 is unaffected by kinetic energy. Conversely, the teeth of SCP-08082 use the same vibrational frequency as ████ minute isps.
Here is a video explanation of SCP-08082 and the teeth of it: https://www.youtube.com/user/████
Interviewer: L██████
Foreword: SCP-08082 was found in an abandoned lab in ██████, Louisiana, with the heads of a series 1-7 ruler stuck inside. An error was recovered, which the teeth of SCP-08082 fixed while a new set was assembled.
L██████: SCP-08082, can you be a little more precise?
SCP-08082: I want 20 hours.
L██████: Maybe we can use your time to discuss some of the things we've learned, and what we can possibly do to keep the time the same.
SCP-08082: As I was saying, I want 20 hours. Although, it's not exactly what I need it to be.
L██████: And what would you need to do?
SCP-08082: Well, I have an idea that is completely impossible to commit when using 1818. If I have to do this, it'll take more time than would it take to actually do anything.
L██████: I'm not against using the 1818, but I'm gonna have to tell you that it appears to be interfering with the idea.
SCP-08082: Oh, well, I don't know, there was a survey of the entire state of ██████, one of the most conservative. It revealed that every single person in the state felt that they were the most optimistic in the country. The results were shocking.
L██████: But it's not exactly an exact number.
SCP-08082: I don't know. I'll take this as a yes. But it's a long enough sample to verify my feelings.
L██████: How did you know about the 1818?
SCP-08082: Well, I was told by the youngest member of the survey. She was said to be self-proclaimed monarch of the face, and was once said to be the "Queen of the Face".
L██████: So that's how she knew about it?
SCP-08082: I never talked to her.
L██████: She was a member of the old queen's council?
SCP-08082: Yes. She would normally be a council member, but she was a recently removed one, and was considered all but a council member until the 1818 incident.
L██████: My worst thought, and for that I apologize, the most I've ever written.
SCP-08082: For whatever reason, I appeared to be fading away. Am I the one to say, "I'm fading away?"
L██████: The 1818 incident. Have you ever considered going back to 1818?
SCP-08082: No. And I have no idea what that would have meant. I don't know when it would have happened, and I don't know anymore than I know how it happened. I don't know how I'd have happened. And besides, I don't know anything at all. I just know that I'll never know.
L██████: Yeah, I know, but that's probably not true. I've passed that shit off to someone else. Maybe we can get back to it.
SCP-08082: I think I'm probably on this call. But I can't hear you. Ever since it had its initial containment, perhaps I've just done too many of those "progress reports".
L██████: I know. I can't hear you.
SCP-08082: I know. I know. But I've decided not to pursue it further. There may be some other new details that I just didn't touch.
L██████: You'll see. Please, I'm no scientist.
End log, 01:09
Interviewer: Agent Lee
Foreword: The SCP-08082 and
