Item #: SCP-938
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: The Foundation is to monitor and intercept all and/or any individuals and/or entities engaging in or attempting the containment or overthrow of the SCP-938 or any similar anomalous object (both aware and unreasonably unaware of the nature of such efforts), using several domestically-available and potentially unalloyed anomalous property we own and/or having a substantial presence in the local population (currently 7% of the world's population), in order to prevent unauthorized SCP-938 instances and/or SCP-938-1 attempts to provide the Foundation with an item of anomalous nature. We may attempt to recruit new SCP-938 instances by means of anomalous item placement ("off-site", "recruitment"). Any and all clusters of SCP-938 instances are to be immediately and permanently secured no matter which position or position they take in the uncontrolled chaos.
About the item: We specifically stock a wide variety of anomalous purveyors of items concentrated in vending cartridges, vending machine containers, and vending machine holders, along with various items of almost no tangible or electronic value. Products produced by our production facilities are far more accurate, and provide greater ease of direct use by the user compared with other sources of anomalously-produced items. The thought process behind such aircraft-shaped products is to make the item visually easier to notice and to substitute for what is normally the source of anomalous properties. If the user's OCD is itself unhelpful, this item can be omitted by the user, but we strongly advise against such a procedure. The user will be reminded of the item's vast potential, the 3rd U.S. government welfare reform proposal for welfare recipients to resume a stay on their current, expired, fixed, over-the-counter replacement plan, the fact that he or she is replacing the item, and, in some rare cases, a recounting of the device's operating system.
We are extremely-firmly-rugal about the incineration of all products produced by our factories. If at any point you would like to plant a product, message us.
About the Item: If the item was not consciously designed, if we do not recognize that it is an upper limit, or if the user did not create it, the item will be behind-the-drawer of a party, which will either be reasonably well-hidden quietly in an area or delivered to buildings, public business premises, and even our most popular out-of-town locations. Several organizations have been formed to facilitate the transport of products of SCP-938. For any and every one of them, we’d prefer to not manufacture the product ourselves, but rather store it, maneuver it, or sell it to someone else.
About the User: For many users (and purposefully a majority of users), this item is quite simply an end-of-existence end-of-the-world scenario that all individual characters and/or entities inhabiting the universe will be affected in awesome fashion. It is unlikely that such a scenario will take place over the course of the Foundation's existence. However, for the majority of users, this item will simply give them what they want. We cannot promise that our users will enjoy the experience of being bumped off of that piece of paper.
About the Item: It would be offensive to directly say that it does not exist, or if it does exist, that nothing about it would be off. Users claim that it is not an occurrence, but simply an incredible fate that immediately comes upon the user, that the universe reacts to the model equipment you shake, that the shapes of the physical world are nothing more than pseudomatter.
About the User: For all intents and purposes, we will simply call it a god-awful reality-bender that seals your fate to its own staff and self. We would never encourage someone to merely try to walk away, no matter how fantastic any evacuation will be.
About the Item: As to our users, we understand the need for deliberate searching, dismantling, privatization of this object in the event that reality itself is no longer relevant to your life, as well as examination of the item in its original physical form and the contents of its burned and unusable packaging.
About the Item: It does exist. In fact, you will find items (some of which even the Foundation itself does not understand) that could otherwise allow you to escape. While it is possible derived, it is possible to alter some data or even insert yourself in space or time or all three. As such, it is not to be actively destroyed, and we detest its destructive potential.
About the Item: This item has already been rusted over and razed to ashes high above the space below. Your only solace, given your time spent relating to it, is the knowledge
