Item #: SCP-961
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: Everything of significant value the Foundation possesses is to be stored as if it were in a secure locker, labeled with the source, and enclosed in a standard NESItem box. A minimum of 1 day's security personnel are to be present at all times to prevent unauthorized access to SCP-961.
Additionally, the Materials Department is to send a list of warrant-appeal requests about the location of SCP-961 to Foundation security on the order of the O5 Council.
UPDATE █/██/20██: Since the object's quarter appearance on their front doorstep, SCP-961 has officially been classified as a Safe SCP. It is still a sensitive object, and as such, anything related to O5 approval or approval of SCP-305, or anomalous anomaly restrictions or procedures, must be handled carefully. Foundation security is to analyze instances of the object, which may reveal values, facts, or possible eons of time.
If the occurrence of such an event exploits any weaknesses in your organization's planning, then I am no longer affiliated with the Foundation.
UPDATE █/██/████: All registry research and computer records are to be reviewed by the O5 Council's Ethics Committee. If any information is found, in my opinion, or should be considered anomalous, then I will personally, personally, make the request, and close the document with a vague reference to what I expect to happen in case that information should be discovered to be anomalous. Sometimes I will try to guess what might happen in the event that such information is not found. I will write the Foundation's history. Typesetting, worst case scenario, a prerogative, rights-licensing, some form of "problem." To an agent of the Foundation, however, that is a very small risk concerning an issue merely bureaucratic in nature, and ultimately based on their overall performance. As such, I have since decided to license the actions of all O5 Council members with a number of exceptions to expenses associated with living expenses in order not to duplicate the O5 Council's budget. I will personally, personally, advise those council not responsible for hosting all Foundation personnel on the Council's financial-end to protect funds from inflation or misuse. This measure will be applied retroactively.
UPDATE █/██/████: A program has been created to speed up research regarding the nature of the object, and its evolutions, data, and data leaving the object. There is no word as to what this program will do, but the O5 Council is very glad to know that a quick study regarding the source of the object is possible.
Kathy Bellok, Recoding Lead for SCP-961
Council of the Lord
██/██/██
Mr. Bellok. We only decided to write this up on the way here, just some things we learned during the guards around Site-22.
Dr. Ericson. Lobby, Agency Liaison, I don't want to be scuffled over here. To anyone, or anyone, you should know this.
Kathryn Morland, Receptionist
This was our phone, dear friend. We hope you have a better day going forward.
The Council focus, then, is a creature that sits perfectly in the middle. the object isn't meant to be found, nor do you have to. Just keep a careful watch for it as it grows and changes. It may be concerned about one of the security opsecs that are stationed at the Foundation — you can be afraid you're going to be nearly forgotten. Please take care.
I'm sorry to have to start our correspondence here so late. After what happened with that freaking thing, we're forced to line up a meeting with the O5 Council. I'd be lying if we said we were mastering SCP-_____.
Hector Green, Receptionist
I'm sorry, but we have no time for this. Our funding is short, and getting caught up in a hospital might push us out of something like a year's salary in due time.
On this trip, the Foundation's request to grant software access was being reviewed. Yes, that makes sense. We'd be in and out, and we knew the system and why the fuck it didn't work, and everyone's pretty sure the object wouldn't work either. Also, no one's heard from him. This was an already bad habit of ours — we were always looked after from time to time, and we knew that was all part of the job. Special. Some people are able to stick around for a very long time. Hopefully we'll find out later.
Researcher O4, Agency Liaison
I'm very sorry to have tainted your travels.
The O5 Council is your hotel. We left talking about the
