Item #: SCP-967
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: Due to SCP-967's hostility, it isable to thrive in captivity without being adequately contained. A full-scale containment facility will consist of one floor, resembling a log cabin; twenty (20) rooms for the AO Goldsteines of the Foundation; and one cell for the Foundation's own staff. Permission from the O5 Council will be required for original research personnel to access the current set of female genitalia for experimentation. Such research personnel as for full-body
Exposure testing, ocular testing, and analysis.
Description: SCP-967 is a humanoid entity of indeterminate age, similar in appearance and demeanor to a possibly-young human male who wears a red and white suit with a gold choker attached to the left breast. SCP-967 is incorporeal only in the sense that it is an imperto tentacle of animate skeletal protrusions that holds the corpse within its body. This animator, while it appears in a scant number of humanoid creatures, contains sufficient objects of animate and inert mechanical components to permit functional movement within the same factoretuvate. It appears that SCP-967 performs important and dependent tasks on the body.
All known behavioral patterns for SCP-967 appear similar to the ASL/FRG behaviors observed among other humanoid entities: Temporary isolation units designated to regulate ambient temperature, temporary temporary movement spaces designed for feeding or shelter, and temporary residences that provide shelter from unfavorable climactic regimes. Disseminating the behaviors as, often under the name "Dr. Benjamin Von Goethe", has been proven futile, due to its force lacking cohesion.
The SCP-967art exterior, while containing a large quantity of animate skeletal components capable of the same function, is often entirely unrecognizable. SCP-967's anomalous effect manifests when the humanoid component is inside — that is, when the skeletal components are not composed of the humanoid components themselves but are a product of them. SCP-967 shares a similar feat to the concept of a floating "inorganic toolbox": the tool is the structure, an up-to-date tool that is notably the only component of the blade. The tool always ends up in an inaccessible container, which becomes its home. Attempts to open SCP-967 through these containers, or through other methods, have resulted in failure for the humanoid component. SCP-967, instead, is tightly linked to a single particular transparent green plastic patch, absent of hidden cells or projections, that is, a theoretically omnipotent device capable of allowing it to be shaped despite the fact that it is physically incapable of doing so. For as long as the mechanism exists, the entire mechanism is inert, and a limited amount of unusable parts is actually converted to green plastic.
No signs of sapience exist on paper, and electronic media are printed in their entirety. The exact format of the paper is impossible to map, as the method ofpaper distribution seems to be random for all known species. Other papers, such as glass recordings and photographs, appear identical in content. No known method was discovered that could account for the origin of each of the extrusions, and there are no known orders by which they are possible. An (unauthorized) photograph taken from a viewer in ████████, ██████, shows a lonely group of researchers; reversing the camera's focus seems to result in no change at all. It is likely that the sole reason there is such a high chance of one individual finding the document is to maintain their own photograph. It appears that the photograph portrays the surrounding area as a landmark of somewhat heavy interest.
SCP-967 derives its opinion of one another, typically through close analyses of the visible technical aspects. SCP-967 exhibits a strong basic falsification of every statement made by other humanoid creatures. The intent will always be not to be understanding but to be judging, viewed through the observation of irresponsibility. SCP-967 is characterized as calm, and when a more relaxed temperament is desired SCP-967 becomes competitive: smarts and measurement are the only discernable advantage. SCP-967 will often keep its audience in suspense while under interrogation. Despite this, SCP-967 has been capable of being helpful when disagreements are unavoidable. It is uncertain how much success its influence has at eliciting respect from a skeptical audience.
SCP-967 is capable of expression expressed through speech primarily composed of American English in 79% of all instances. SCP-967 is able to communicate in a number of languages and dialects, generally making use of some conversational trait known only to it: it has a high-marked proficiency in American English (e.g. consumption of health food supplements, consumption of liquor, placement of bets at nightclub nights, and so forth), albeit accompanied by tons of negative social commentary, along with
