Item #: SCP-572
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-572 is to be stored in a standard humanoid containment chamber in Media Researcher Smithson's office at Site-60. The chamber must be equipped with a storage space for SCP-572, but Foundation personnel with Level-2 security clearings may not enter it, and no personnel/anomalous items may be stored in it. Current containment procedures account for the current state of SCP-572. Reports from containment areas may be logged in the case of Site-60's frequent access to its mobiles.
Description: SCP-572 is a former employee of Hot Pockets Chocolate & Snacks who claims to have been a custodian at the aforementioned "Mickey's Creatures Food Store" for more than two decades. SCP-572 is capable of freely moving through its containment chamber without being physically disturbed, regardless of whether or not it is armed or otherwise in possession of either an assault weapon or any other classified item.
SCP-572 is constantly at a disorganized state. If a competent Foundation staff member enters the chamber without at least 3 members present, SCP-572 will wander about until either a containment area has been entirely filled with active testing rolls or testing ends. It has been observed that if SCP-572 is placed in a normal containment area, it will find them, and will attempt to move and 'deliver them' in style. SCP-572 has demonstrated the ability to move through surfaces and encompasses everything in sight, allowing it to trip any personnel unlucky enough to wander into a containment area.
SCP-572 will create an appearance at the top of the center of the containment chamber if its current position is held by personnel without Level 2 security clearances. It will then move through the containment area, and will begin to attempt to defeat personnel in the area or otherwise make them uncomfortable, or simply get others around it to do so. Given access to the containment area, SCP-572 will invariably approach the personnel and resume its attempts to 'deliver them'. If the area in which the testing or testing of SCP-572 is taking place is abandoned, or there is not significant effort made by personnel to break away from SCP-572, SCP-572 will then attack personnel even while still in confinement. If SCP-572 captures a woman without Level 3 security clearances, it will annihilate her and then attempt to kill them using a weapon or other anomalous item.
When a non-attending Foundation staff member is within sight of SCP-572 for more than 2 hours, SCP-572 will begin to move around, using a weapon of some kind as a distraction. If this occurs too, it will cease mobility. SCP-572 will usually move around containment areas to the left or right, depending on the distance between them and the center of the containment chamber. It will apply pressure to any ball or other object in its path after attempting to 'deliver the girl' or 'deliver [or anyone else]'. SCP-572 will then return to its 'deliver the girl' position, return to its original position, and repeat this process until the room is empty.
If SCP-572 is necessary to begin an experiment, it will use a weapon of some kind to initiate the process. From within the chamber, SCP-572 will release a ball of some kind, and will attempt to 'deliver the girl' or 'deliver [or anyone else]'. In all cases, the ball will explode, leading to injuries on Foundation personnel, and SCP-572 will then return to its original position.
Addendum: Interview Logs:
Interviewed: Dr. █████
Interviewer: Dr. █████
Foreword: Interviewed by Dr. █████. He was in the facility to attempt to ascertain the nature of SCP-572.
Dr. █████: Hello SCP-572-1, how are you feeling?
SCP-572-1: (laughs) Fine man. I have no fear. (pseudo-cries,) I know the weaklings (laughter).
Dr. █████: I see. SCP-572-1, do you know what I am? (laughs.) I am the Director of the SCP Research and Containment division of the Foundation. I am here today to try and talk to you about the events you had a while back. Do you know what cost you your job?
SCP-572-1: Well, that is up to you.
Dr. █████: What happened?
SCP-572-1: Oh, of course. Sorry, hm, sorry?
Dr. █████: Both. Did you talk with your friend Cook?
SCP-572-1: Cook was trying to run me into the hall, but I was too far behind
